Be My Strength
by harrys hula girl
Summary: Life was supposed to be easier after the war. In some ways it is, in other ways it's not. With all the changes, Harry and Hermione come to rely on each other to help make it through. HHr some RHr
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **

**Ok I will say this before you start reading. This IS a Harry/Hermione story. I needed this chapter to help set things up that will happen later. I promise that it will be good, so bear with me. Thanks!**

Sitting in the middle of the darkened room, Ron held his head between his hands, tears wetting his palms. He hated to do this. It's not that he wanted to do it, but that he felt that he_ needed_ to do it. The way he was at the moment was not good for her, hell it wasn't good for himself. He needed her to understand. As he raised his head, Ron saw the silhouette of Hermione on the window seat. She was staring out the window, holding her knees to her chest.

"Please Hermione, I need you to understand."

Hermione turned to look at him, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Well you'll have to excuse me Ron if I don't. This morning I thought that things were ok between us and now you're telling me that you're leaving me. That you're going away to who knows where and that you're not sure when you'll be back."

"I have to Hermione. I'm a mess! I don't know who I am anymore."

Hermione knew that Ron still had issues after the war. Hell, they all did. It had been a year since the final defeat of Voldemort. Harry had ended Voldemort's life, but not without the help of Ron and Hermione. It was their love and support that finally gave Harry the last ounce of power he needed to bring the Dark Lord down. It had taken them the better part of a year to hunt down the last of the Horcruxes. During that time, the trio had faced many dangers, dangers that required them at times to be as ruthless and cruel as the Death Eaters themselves. None of them were proud of the things that they had done, but it seemed that Harry and Hermione had come to terms with their actions better than Ron had. At first, he retreated into himself, at times not talking to anyone for days. Then Ron would turn into his old self, only to lash out at everyone and everything in his path at the next moment. Harry and Hermione had been going to see a counselor at St. Mungo's to help them with their emotions. Initially, Ron refused any help. He could do it on his own he would say. Eventually, it was his parents that convinced him he needed some help to cope. It seemed like it _was _helping. Ron's attitude improved and he was his old self the majority of the time. During all of this however, Ron and Hermione were together. Together as more than just best friends. They had finally admitted their love for one another shortly after their quest with Harry had begun. Things weren't always great for them, they had their fair share of rows along the way, but since the end of the battle and since Ron had started seeing the counselor, they had become less frequent. In Hermione's opinion, the past three months had been great. She was reminded everyday of why she had fallen in love with him in the first place. Now, here he was telling her he was leaving.

Getting help to deal with what he was feeling _had_ been the best thing that he could have done in Ron's opinion. He was feeling lost and confused. He did things, _bad things_. He had never killed anyone in his life, never thought he would have to, but in the end, he had ended up killing his fair share. It was always as a last resort, only happening if his own life or that of Harry or Hermione was threatened. Somehow though, it still made it hard to accept. But he was getting better, his mind clearer. He had realized that he had spent the better part of the last 9 years fighting evil or helping out someone else. Somewhere along the way, he stopped being just Ron Weasley. He had done his part and helped to save the world. Now he felt that he needed to find out who he was without the evil. There was one problem though, Hermione.

He loved her, that much he knew. It was her love that had kept him going and had kept him sane. But now, he realized that it wasn't enough anymore. He had leaned on her and her love, depended on it even. Not to be a total arse, but he had been using that love as a crutch to fall back on. As good as Hermione thought things were going, Ron knew better. He wanted to love her as much as she loved him, he really did, but Ron was never going to be able to do that until he knew how to love himself. This is what he had come here tonight to explain to her. Ron knew that this was going to hard, but he also knew that this was something important that he had to do.

Hermione got up and walked slowly to him, kneeling in front of him.

"I know that you're going through a rough time right now Ron, but is leaving really the answer? Let me help you."

"That's the problem though Hermione. You're always helping me. I have to help myself. I need to find out who I am without the war, without Harry, without.."

"Me" Hermione whispered.

Ron leaned forward and cupped her face with his hands.

"Yes, Hermione, who I am without you."

She understood, she honestly did. It didn't make it any easier for her though. She loved him and didn't want to see him go.

Ron leaned his head forward resting it on hers.

"I love you Hermione." He whispered. "But that's not enough anymore."

"So where does this leave us?" she asked.

"I don't know." He answered honestly.

"So that's it then? We just go our separate ways?"

"I need to do this. I know that I'm risking losing you, and I pray that I'm not going to but, it's a risk I'm gonna have to take."

Ron leaned forward and pressed his lips softly to hers.

"Goodbye Hermione."

With a soft pop, Ron was gone. Tears flowing freely down her face, Hermione sobbed into her hands. A few moments later, she felt a pair of arms encircle her and hold her close.

"It'll be ok Hermione." She heard a familiar voice soothe her.

Hermione whirled around and flung her arms around Harry's neck.

"I'm here for you."

**Please Review and let me know what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry that I have been gone for a while. I hope all my favorite fan are still that…fans. I am working on all my stories again, so let me know what you think.**

**Thanks!**

Harry stared out the window, sipping on his cup of tea thinking. It had been 11 months since Ron had left. He couldn't believe it was almost a year ago that one of his best friends had separated himself from his family and friends. Harry understood why Ron had left, he had even contemplated it himself for a while, but who knew Ron would have been the one with enough balls to do it. 

He heard a crash from the direction of the kitchen.

"Bullocks!"

Harry laughed. "Everything all right Hermione?"

"It's fine." 

"You sure you don't want any help in there?" He asked as he poked his head in the doorway.

"I said its fine Harry." He could hear the frustration in her voice. "You can't always be the one who cooks. It shouldn't be this difficult."

"It wouldn't be if you just used a little magic. You are a witch you know."

"Smart ass." She grinned, "You don't use magic to cook. How come it comes so easy for you and not for me?"

"Well lets just say you didn't have an aunt, uncle, and idiot cousin to cook for since you were practically able to walk."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. It's actually the only good thing I can say I learned in that house. You sure you don't want the help/"

"NO! " She refilled his tea cup and turned him back toward the parlor. "Go and relax."

Harry saluted "Yes mame."

Hermione laughed again. 

Harry never got tired of hearing that laugh. There was a time when Ron first left where Harry honestly thought he would never hear it again. Hermione cried mostly for the first few months. No one had heard from Ron, knew where he had gone to. Mrs. Weasley had insisted on trying to find him, but Author had talked her out of it, telling everyone that when Ron was ready to he would contact us. Sure enough, 6 months ago, Ron sent an owl saying he was doing ok and that he ended up somewhere in America (he wouldn't say where exactly). He still didn't know when he was coming home, but that he hoped all was ok here. 

We were all relieved that he was still in one piece and had not gone and splinched himself in two, but Hermione was hurt that he had not send something for her personally. She felt that same sting all over again. This time however she didn't cry, she got mad. Throwing things became her new hobby. It became a game between the two of them for Harry to try to guess what was missing or in pieces on the floor everything time he came to Hermione's flat. This all happened for a good month before she finally snapped out of it and decided to get on with her life. 

The night Ron had left, he had visited Harry first. Harry tried to talk him out of it, get him to stay and try to work things out more here, but Ron had insisted that he needed to leave. Harry took a good long look at him and could finally see that Ron was right. 

"_Harry, I need you to do something for me."_

"_Anything Ron, you know that. What is it?"_

"_Look after Hermione for me."_

"_Ron…"_

"_Please Harry. I know this is going to hurt her, and I need to know that someone will be there to help her."_

"_Of course I will Ron. She's one of my best friends. I'll always be there for her. And I'll always be here for you too."_

"_I know Harry. I appreciate that, I really do."_

And Harry had kept his word. That first night he had held her in his arms till she had cried herself to sleep. Since that day, that had not gone one day without seeing each other. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were the best of friends. Harry was hurting too by Ron's leaving, but he also knew that for Hermione it was much deeper. 

After the war was over, Ron and Hermione had become the couple everyone knew they would be. It was always expected to be Ron and Hermione and himself and Ginny. He had tried things with Ginny, but both of them learned quickly that too much had happened and that they were much better off as friends and nothing more. Ron and Hermione on the other hand seemed destined to make it work. The relationship was good for a while, but then even Harry could see the cracks start to show. When Ron decided to try therapy to help him coupe with the effects of the war, their relationship looked like it was heading back on track, but then Ron left and now, Harry was there.

Most of the time they spent together was a result of Harry not wanting Hermione to be alone. Harry knew she was grateful that he was there. Hermione has told Harry that she had only made it as far as she has because of Harry's presence and friendship. She then told him that he didn't have to "baby-sit her" (as she put it) anymore since she was sure that Harry had better things to do with his time than to spend it with her so much. 

"_I'm not "babysitting" you Hermione. I enjoy the time we spend together." Harry assured her._

"_If you're sure?"_

"_Yes, I am"_

"_Ok then, but you better be careful" she warned._

"_Why?" Harry asked._

"_Because if you're not, then people might start talking and assume you're taken. You might just end up a bachelor your entire life" She joked._

After that night, Harry did some hard thinking and came a few conclusions. One - He didn't care if people talked. Let them think he was taken. It was better than having to deal with all the boring witches out there who only wanted him for his fame or money and two – he didn't care if people talked. Let them think he was taken, because in his heart, he already was. Harry Potter was in love with Hermione Granger. 


End file.
